- Be brave. The universe sees it and backs you every time.
- Get good teachers and guides. Check empowerment is at the heart of their methodology, so you really get to take away what they are teaching.
- Trust the process and follow your heart, it will never lead you wrong although it will definitely not make sense!
- Don’t worry if you go backwards, my biggest falls turned out to be some of my biggest leaps forward in the end.
- As the layers peel off don't be afraid of how sensitive and vulnerable you will feel. Learn to be uncomfortable and on your edge. Step into your feelings and fears, it is the only way through.
- And more than anything KEEP GOING, every step, keep looking for your answers and don’t worry if they change too. You won’t see the transformation but in time others will.
What excites me about my life right now? I get to wake up every day and I feel utterly alive. I live in a place that feels like heaven to me. I am surrounded by nature and the opportunity to live my best, awakened, “in flow” life. It wasn’t always like this though I can promise you!Rewind 15 years.... I was 3 stone overweight with chronic back pain, unable to run, smoking 30 cigarettes a day, working up to 17 hours a day on a laptop, 6 days a week. I was 30 years old and completely exhausted, barely able to breathe or move. Not really what I had in mind for my life... and I was having suicidal thoughts although I didn’t want to admit it even to myself. So I kept on smiling somehow. I knew I had to change; something was very wrong.My first big decision was to quit work and go back to school, interior design school to be precise. I was completely terrified but I loved it. And it was a real financial challenge but I squeezed it. I got a puppy, second major life changing decision. Then I found yoga, real yoga and became a disciple to a guru, life turned upside down for a decade. My health, mental, physical, emotional and spiritual improved steadily but I still wasn’t living the free life I wanted.So, I traded London for the mountains of southern Spain and committed to building a retreat centre and a new life from scratch for myself (gulp!).I have lived in near isolation for well over a year now and have been through some of my darkest and brightest days. I have experienced more challenges and bliss than I thought possible. I lived for periods without water and electricity, WIFI and a car. I slept under the stars listening to the sound of the night. I found my courage to keep going, to get up, to find my inner power, not driven by others or the rules of society.I listened to inside of me; with no one else around I discovered what my energy was for the first time. Living in a country where you don’t speak the language during a world pandemic, 10k from the nearest town certainly gave me the space to separate myself from everything! I finally released all the emotions that were stuck in my body and heart. From that empty space I began to listen and watch. I asked for guidance and started seeing and hearing messages. I had crazy dreams, I started to see energy and auras, spirit guides and ghosts. I listened hard and realised my own spirit guides were arriving one by one, but the greatest moment was knowing god was here with me.Going through these changes alone was confusing but I kept following the signs, I followed the urges and ideas I had to crystal grid the land, and through doing so met new people, asked new questions and new names were given to me. I found myself in an experiential healing process with Mark Goddard and more puzzle pieces began to fall in to place. My past lives, my visions, my conversations with God started to make sense.I qualified and started to teach yoga to adults and kids. I studied and began to give experiential healing sessions myself and I am creating a magical retreat centre for others to follow me into the wild. I adopted three huge dogs, I am painting again, I dance at random times to music that fills my soul, I sleep deep when I need to. I actually enjoy meditating now; it is more like travelling to other dimensions and I have learned to trust myself to go. I have picked figs, made jam and harvested almonds and olives. I have kept my corporate job going online as a way to pay for the dream of no longer being in the matrix at all and they have loved me and my work more and more as I have evolved.People ask how I am doing it, and the truth is I don’t really know except I am in love with life again and supported and loved in ways I never felt possible, by spirit, by God, by those I have found on the path.I still get afraid, I procrastinate, and I eat too much chocolate when I feel unsure BUT I AM ALIVE. And I know I have experienced all this so I can show others how to find their wild self, their freedom, their power and soul.So, my advice if you really want to change your life is this:To join me for a yoga class, health coaching session or even a experiential healing session visit https://www.dragonflyhousespain.com/healingWith Love,Helen xxx
The path to love, well now where to begin! Obviously, self-love is the ultimate aim but, on the way, there a relationship or two can give us a boost and show us what we lack. “What?!?” I can hear you saying “isn’t that the other way round? Surely, we learn to love ourselves, so our relationships and connections are better?” And yes, that is also true ;0)But what if you realized the relationship you have with yourself is the most important you will ever have? You talk to yourself inside your mind more than anyone else. You wake up with yourself every day of your life…what do you welcome yourself back to the world each morning with? You are the one who will buy yourself the most clothes, feed yourself the most food, has access to understand every feeling you experience, every memory, thought and sensation. So how can we be open to every relationship we experience as a guide to love? Loving both ourselves and those we draw into our worlds?Take a moment to recognize the most important relationships you have in your life right now, write their names on a piece of paper. You can include partners, children, parents, siblings, colleagues, friends, neighbours, lovers, pets, and yourself if you like. Take a moment to close your eyes and breathe into each one in turn. Ask yourself these questions: How do I feel when I am around them? What does this relationship mean to me? Can I be myself 100% with this person? If not, how am I showing up? What patterns do I play out with this person? What have I /am I learning from this relationship?WHAT DO YOU SEE?Sometimes when we take a moment to really look we see that perhaps we are not showing up as we would like to. Certainly, this was the case for me, and I want to share with you where this realization took me.During my 9 year discipleship with my guru I chose to abstain from sexual and intimate with relationships completely. Now this might seem extreme, especially as at the start as I was a single woman in my early 30’s certainly not the time according to society you hop off the baby train. I realized I had no respect for sex or men. I was using them both to prop up my lack of self-esteem and was manipulative, jealous and at times destructive to get the attention and love I wanted. By opting out of the whole game, I wanted to better understand my own energy and self before bringing anyone else into my vortex.It was truthfully an amazing and sometimes very lonely experience. Learning to sustain your energy, to love yourself, to tell yourself all the things you want to hear from someone else, looking into your own eyes and being your own reassurance isn’t easy. And in support of me the universe showed up with no one. Not joking, no one flirted with me, asked for my number or made an inappropriate comment for nearly a decade and I know it was because I just wasn’t in that frequency. Having soaked up that experience I returned to the world of dating around a year ago and wow it has been different with consciousness turned on.Firstly, I have found I can be completely open to a whole person, not only how they look. It really is energy I am drawn to. Secondly being me, all of me, still takes courage. The first person I had over for dinner took one look at my magic wand and tarot cards and bolted. My wolf pack has definitely deterred a few suitors as well. But hell, this is me. I have also had the experience of drawing in some pretty dark energy in men, people who have seen my light and wanted to feed on it, but I am strong enough not to get into that kind of dependent, exchange based relationship. I don’t need anything from anyone. But I do want to co-create.I find myself in a funny place where I consider myself single even though there is someone very special in my life right now, and I hope I will always keep my single perspective for this reason:It means I take responsibility for me wholeheartedly. I don’t’ wait for anyone to love me, I am loved. From the moment I wake up until I lay my head down again. And from this full cup I am both able to give and receive. And it keeps me open to experience what all my relationships bring. I don’t have to cling to them or need them, but I get to enjoy them and learn about sharing my world.So, I am inviting you today to take a step back from all the relationships in your life and take a look at the gift they are brining you. And appreciate the growth they are triggering in you however painful it might seem. And appreciate yourself for being the only person in a relationship with yourself consistently, day in day out, never wavering.Make a commitment now to give yourself that one thing you really need to feel loved today and if you are bold enough share it below. I would love to hear.With love,Helen xxxTo find out more about what I am reflecting on, what I am creating and the work I do to help people feel all the love they deserve, visit https://www.casalibelulaespana.com/healing
If you have ever felt different from the people around you, like an outsider, unsafe even because you don’t fit in, you are definitely not alone. As a result, many people spend their lives unconsciously searching for a real connection, looking for a deep sense of belonging. Maybe you’ve done this by getting into a relationship you know isn’t good for you, changing your hair, clothes, lifestyle, hanging around people you want to be more like, by moving house, or city or even country, desperately trying to connect to something, someone, so you can finally feel that you really belong…
Knowing we belong is a deep-rooted innate need within us.
The mistake we make is that we are looking outside of us for something that can only ever be found within. It is part of the trap the matrix has us I bought into. It makes us consume more, want more, feel discontentment with who we are and what we have, which in turn keeps us in feelings of isolation, not being good enough, not having enough, frustration, resentment and loneliness. The trick is to recognize that belonging can never come from outside of us, it does not come from a place, person or thing although at times these can substitute for a while. The single truth of life is that change is constant, so relying on something outside of us that in the end is bound to change for our sense of belonging will fail in the end.
Let me guide you for a moment and show you the doorway to belonging…
Take a deep breath in.
Take a few deep breaths in.
Every time you breath out relax a little more.
Breathe right down into your belly and close your eyes.
Stay here breathing.
This is the only place you belong.
Inside of you is your home. And it can feel scary, when we don’t trust ourselves, when we aren’t comfortable in our own skin, when we dislike something about our character or parts of our body, when our thoughts are hurtful to us, when we have been hurt, abused, rejected, felt unloved and worthless, when we are the last person we want to get to know. The wound we have to heal, the difficulty we have to overcome, is that a long time ago we decided inside us, who we are, wasn’t enough, was wrong.
There are three keys to unlocking a deep meaningful sense of knowing you belong that is unshakeable.
1. Find the answer to the question “who am I?”. Get to know yourself. In my work I often hear people say, “I don’t know who I am” and that is a great place to be. Getting to know yourself, who you are, your gifts, connections, inspirations, what you like and like less is important. This means spending time alone, out from the influence of family, friends and media. Carving sacred time for you. Understanding your emotions, your triggers, your history, your desires. You can do this by meditating, by journaling, practicing yoga or simply sit and look at yourself in the mirror and notice what you notice. Really look at you, look into your eyes and ask yourself any questions yet unanswered. You already know the answers if you can be present with yourself long enough to hear them.
2. Become the parent you always wanted. There will have been at least one moment where you haven’t felt loved and safe. For many of us we were young children when we first felt this, we were weak, small and felt unprotected. Much of our sense of not belonging can come from feeling abandoned in some way as a child because the people we belonged to didn’t keep us safe. Getting to know your inner child is essential to healing and becoming a whole adult. Only when we feel safe with ourselves do we believe we belong unconditionally where we are.
If you haven’t reconnected with the younger you already, try a meditation, close your eyes and imagine somewhere you loved as a child, a happy place and invite your inner child to join you. Let them show up as they need to, they could be any age and may come running for a hug or could hang back scared. Remember they are a part of you that felt abandoned and alone so will need to build trust again and sometimes that can take time. Keeping your promises to yourself, booking in things you liked to do as a child, listening to them, talking to them, writing them a letter, making time for play and fun in your life will bring you closer and once your inner child knows you have got them and they belong with you, you will really feel it too.
3. Connect with the divinity within, cheesy I know! Now this one can be a bit of a leap but in the end to feel safe in your belonging here on earth you have to know you have God with you and within you. Take a look at something you admire in nature and realize that God thought one of you was exactly what they earth needed right now as well. You are unique, there has been and never will be anyone that entered via the portal you did at the exact time and place you did. That doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, far from it but you do have to be real. Real in your emotions, in your expression, in your actions. Be you and recognize the part of you that is perfectly imperfect.
When you realize you have always been wanted just as you are, loved for everything you have done, and haven’t done, that you are worthy, that you are enough… you will know you belong here. And your search will be over. You made it home. You belong.
Do you ever feeling like the same thing is coming up over and over again and you just don’t seem to be changing or making progress?
When we get conscious and realise we have some work to do, to learn to love ourselves, to heal all those things we have felt hurt by in life, it can be really frustrating when we seem to make the same mistakes again and again. Perhaps you fall into the same conversation with your partner or kids, play the same pattern of behaviour out, maybe you act like the victim, avoid your responsibility in creating a situation, procrastinate… believe me it is totally normal!
However, awareness of what you are doing and that by being responsible you can change things is a massive change of perspective in itself. To then think from that moment on, when the light comes on for you, you are going to be a completely changed person is often what we believe will happen, and why we always feel like we fall a little short.
I have been a change manager and business psychologist for huge global organisations for over 20 years. And the one thing I know is that change ain’t easy! Whether you are changing the behaviour of one person or thousands it takes an alchemists mix of desire, consistency, focus, clarity, vision, belief, effort and ultimately love to make it work.
There are of course things you can do that make it possible and there are times where we are forced to change, just like our world showed us recently that in a funny way make it easier because we have no choice. So how can you make it a little easier for yourself?
- Focus on the masculine structural aspects of making that change happen:
- Get clear on what you want and why. Write your vision and what you will see, hear, and experience when you get there.
- List the benefits of you doing this and all the things that may block you, come up with a response for each.
- Write down your goals and the actions you are going to take to achieve it.
- Break the steps down in to manageable steps, have something you can do every day, so you feel like you are progressing
- Reward yourself for getting on track and staying on track
- Monitor your progress, track visibly the changes you make so you can see them.
2. Flow with the feminine aspects of embracing change:
- Be clear how you want to feel, what you will notice when you have grown.
- Call in support, from family, friends and from the spirit world. Know you don’t have to do this alone.
- Trust yourself and that the process of change is not linear, you will make mistakes, and go backwards but find the wisdom to be kind to yourself and it will set you back on course more quickly.
- Allow for miracles and magic, for rest, play, peace and love. Embrace who you are becoming.
- Grieve what you are losing, there is always something we must let go of to make space for the new. Get comfortable in the in between place.
- Recognise your emotions have as much to do with change as do your actions, breathe into them allow them, welcome them and let them show you what you are not seeing.
- Connect to your inner child and higher self, let them show you the wounds and how to heal them, be patient.
- Allow the ancient wisdom of your ancestors, of great teachers, poets, writers and musicians to support your understanding and energy.
- Nourish yourself, love yourself, this is a life not a race. Appreciate the lessons on the way, these are the gold we collect not the medal at the end.
Transformation is possible but it requires you to light a fire within, tap into an immediate burning need, a determination of unwavering clarity within which no doubt can exist. But once the fire of needing to change is burned through it is the feminine that will grow fruit from the ashes, it is that incremental knowing that will sustain you for a lifetime.
Change is messy because we are most divine creations ever envisioned, we are complex webs of conscious and unconscious. And that is perfect.
I would love to hear how your own transformations are going and whether you believe you are balancing both the masculine drive and feminine flow of change? Tell me what you need more of to get to where you want to go.
One of the things I love about my life now, is that I am completely immersed in nature. Even now as I write this to you, I am looking out of my window at a spectacular pyramidal mountain. It is a privilege for sure.Being here I have grown to appreciate what nature shows me. I pay real attention to it now because I have learned that by observing it carefully it is an easy way for spirit to show me what I need to do next. I will explain a little more in a moment, but perhaps you are thinking “but I live in a city/town and I like it, I don’t have time to watch nature.” And I get it totally!I lived in Tooting Broadway and worked in central London for 20 years. I too love the city, the people, the shopping and hustle, noise and vibe. I loved the stores were open 24/7 and everywhere was alive with crazy energy. But even there I would notice how in every given opportunity people would flock, even in their business suits, to try and get a square inch of grass to sit on and eat their lunch. We are naturally drawn to nature because we are born of her.Now, yes I have opportunity here, but we all do where ever we live, we can all watch for what nature is telling us. For example, do you watch the which animals are showing up? If you think it is random think again. It could be ants, bees, wasps, beetles, birds, snakes, cats, dogs, foxes, mice, rats even. If you are looking, they are natures messengers. I use an animal spirit guide card deck to interpret their meaning but google works just as well, and I even trust the universe has my back with what the search engine throws at me. It is usually bang on.I will give you an example that happened today. I was cleaning the terrace and knocked a light forgetting there was a wasp nest in there. The inevitable yelling swearing, running ensued with me gaining 4 stings pretty quickly. And god I had forgotten how much they can hurt. Now I know that wasps are a sign that if you can take the sting happening in your life right now something much better is in store for you. As I am frantically running cold water over my effected body parts and googling remedies for wasp stings my new partner appears with what looks like a tub of mud, tells me to sit down, it is his grandmother’s recipe everything will be ok in 5 minutes.So, I let the mud go on my skin, and man in stung even more but in 30 seconds nothing. Literally like magic I could feel the swelling going and the pain subsiding. And the gift was I was taken care of for the first time in a long time, I learned an awesome natural effective remedy for wasp stings, and I felt loved. And as these gifts are dawning on me, I see a pair of red dragonflies over the water of the pool here at dragonfly house reminding me of my mission here, and that truth will transcend illusion. Red dragonflies are rare and a sign of death and eternal love. And there I was watching the belief I am alone die and feeling a sense of love more than ever.Not convinced yet? Try one more example….A few months ago, at dusk, I had a swallow in my living room. I had no idea how it got there as the doors and windows were shut. I let it out, and checked everything, I even blocked the chimney, its summer after all. But the next evening the same thing again, I couldn’t understand it. Third evening I was like ok this is just weird! So, I looked up the meaning of birds in the house, and some traditions believe it signals a death. Not great and I couldn’t figure it out as no one I knew had died. The following day my mum called to say her brother had passed away unexpectedly. I had already been told.So keep an eye out. Watch the animals and even the weather. I cannot tell you how often the weather gives us clues and rolls with the energy as well. It is one of gods tools to guide us, challenge us and enrich our lives, it is the uncertainty of it that reminds us that we are not in control, we are a co-creator and that his power is infinite beyond our imagination. Nature is not weak, it is dangerous and strong and destructive just as it is nurturing, beautiful and inspiring. And so, watch.I notice when I meditate, often a wind can begin out of nowhere, how when I need to rest the sun will go in. How when I shift my emotions the weather can go from miserable to glorious. Even yesterday it was 42 centigrade and too hot but I had planned a trip to the beach and as I arrived a sea mist rolled in as thick as London fog which meant I could relax and swim under cover it was amazing.Maybe you feel a bit disconnected from nature yourself? So here is something to try. Find your nearest spot of nature. It could be a park, a tree or I have even stood in the middle of a grassy roundabout in a desperate moment! It doesn’t matter because nature is more powerful than you can imagine. If your intention is to connect, she will meet you there. All you need to do is breathe and imagine your feet are magnets (take off your shoes and socks if you can but again it doesn’t matter!) and draw energy up from the earth as you breathe in. It will take a few seconds but the longer you give it the deeper you will connect. And simply ask for a sign. If your intention is true and you are willing to notice even the smallest of changes, she will send you a message.Just watch and listen. The path will unfold.I would love to hear what nature means to you and your stories of following her guidance, share below and let's spread a little love and appreciation for all she gives us.With love,Helen xxx