Do you ever feeling like the same thing is coming up over and over again and you just don’t seem to be changing or making progress?
When we get conscious and realise we have some work to do, to learn to love ourselves, to heal all those things we have felt hurt by in life, it can be really frustrating when we seem to make the same mistakes again and again. Perhaps you fall into the same conversation with your partner or kids, play the same pattern of behaviour out, maybe you act like the victim, avoid your responsibility in creating a situation, procrastinate… believe me it is totally normal!
However, awareness of what you are doing and that by being responsible you can change things is a massive change of perspective in itself. To then think from that moment on, when the light comes on for you, you are going to be a completely changed person is often what we believe will happen, and why we always feel like we fall a little short.
I have been a change manager and business psychologist for huge global organisations for over 20 years. And the one thing I know is that change ain’t easy! Whether you are changing the behaviour of one person or thousands it takes an alchemists mix of desire, consistency, focus, clarity, vision, belief, effort and ultimately love to make it work.
There are of course things you can do that make it possible and there are times where we are forced to change, just like our world showed us recently that in a funny way make it easier because we have no choice. So how can you make it a little easier for yourself?
- Focus on the masculine structural aspects of making that change happen:
- Get clear on what you want and why. Write your vision and what you will see, hear, and experience when you get there.
- List the benefits of you doing this and all the things that may block you, come up with a response for each.
- Write down your goals and the actions you are going to take to achieve it.
- Break the steps down in to manageable steps, have something you can do every day, so you feel like you are progressing
- Reward yourself for getting on track and staying on track
- Monitor your progress, track visibly the changes you make so you can see them.
2. Flow with the feminine aspects of embracing change:
- Be clear how you want to feel, what you will notice when you have grown.
- Call in support, from family, friends and from the spirit world. Know you don’t have to do this alone.
- Trust yourself and that the process of change is not linear, you will make mistakes, and go backwards but find the wisdom to be kind to yourself and it will set you back on course more quickly.
- Allow for miracles and magic, for rest, play, peace and love. Embrace who you are becoming.
- Grieve what you are losing, there is always something we must let go of to make space for the new. Get comfortable in the in between place.
- Recognise your emotions have as much to do with change as do your actions, breathe into them allow them, welcome them and let them show you what you are not seeing.
- Connect to your inner child and higher self, let them show you the wounds and how to heal them, be patient.
- Allow the ancient wisdom of your ancestors, of great teachers, poets, writers and musicians to support your understanding and energy.
- Nourish yourself, love yourself, this is a life not a race. Appreciate the lessons on the way, these are the gold we collect not the medal at the end.
Transformation is possible but it requires you to light a fire within, tap into an immediate burning need, a determination of unwavering clarity within which no doubt can exist. But once the fire of needing to change is burned through it is the feminine that will grow fruit from the ashes, it is that incremental knowing that will sustain you for a lifetime.
Change is messy because we are most divine creations ever envisioned, we are complex webs of conscious and unconscious. And that is perfect.
I would love to hear how your own transformations are going and whether you believe you are balancing both the masculine drive and feminine flow of change? Tell me what you need more of to get to where you want to go.